One of the biggest struggles of my life has been comparison. As long as I have been saved I have looked at others, their age and what they have accomplished in their lives. When I was 19 starting my own youth group (from 0) I was looking at a 18 year old who was pastoring 250 kids…and wondering why God didn’t allow me to do that. A few years later, at 20, when I was the worship leader for a church of about 250 I was looking at worship leaders like Matt Redman and Tim Hughes and wondering why I didn’t have a worship CD out and leading worship to 1,000′s. When I was 22 and a youth pastor of about 100 at another church I was looking at others that I knew that were starting churches and writing books about ministry and wondered why I wasn’t already at that place.

I left “full time” ministry when I was 26, and took a job in the “real world.” I didn’t leave Jesus, just the ministry. I worked for a VW Dealership for a while, then a photography company for a while, back to the VW place for a while and now I am working for a media company. This is what I have learned – it’s really not about me ! It’s about Jesus and His glory and His love and His grace and His redemption in my life.

I wish I could say that I don’t still struggle with this issue, at times I do. When I look back to Jesus, I remember that he is the center of my life. He is the reason that I have joy and peace and love and truth.

Now as I sit her as a 30 year old ( 31 in just a few days) not in full time ministry, no worship cd, no titles, no youth group, no church plants – I look to my wife of 6 years (with a prego belly), my 13 month old son and I thank Jesus that I do not need to compare. He has given me everything I need and most of what I want. I thank you Jesus that I know you, I thank you that you know me – in my innermost being – and still you are deeply in love with me. I thank you that my son will know you and love you, and be raised in a way that will honor you. I thank you thank you that you have brought me into your wonderful truth and that I can rest my life in your hands.