attempting humility…creating space
Posts tagged heart
thankful
Dec 19th
Christmas is almost here. It is a good time to pause and reflect on all that we have been given. I am thankful for my wife, how wonderfly patient she is with my issues, how beautiful she looks when she is sleeping, and how good she makes me feel when she holds me tight. I am thankful for my family, allbeit a huge disfuntional 4 dads, 4 moms, 1 sister, 1 half sister, one neice,
3 half sister in-law, 1 brother in-laws, 2 half brother in-laws, a few x-parents, a bunch of extended family and in Texas and 1 cool dog, no wonder I have a hard time remember birthdays. I am thankful that all my parents and brother and sisters are in good health. I am thankful hat my dad made a great real estate deal that will help provide his retirement. I am thankful for my friends of USM that helped talk and play my way thru my back surgery last year, and that my back is getting better and better with every passing day. I am thankful that we have a home that I can have a christmas tree and celebrate the birth of my Savior. I am thankful that I have a God that does not run from sin, but rather loves and struggles with us to push us through our sinfilled ways. I am greatful that He is faithful even when I am not.
Dear God, my heart is filled with love and thankfulness for you love and compassion for me and my family. You are ever faithfull, even when I have turned my back on your wisdom and loving guidience. May you be evermore praised and loved thru my families lives. We love and thank you.
some sort of pride
Dec 8th
I have noticed a inclination that makes me very uneasy. It’s a trend that I see carried from days of yore, through the middle ages, on thru modern times and creeping into the future. It is some sort of pride that takes the humility that should be displayed by a follower of the fisher of men and turns them into angry and judgemental creatures. It’s the pride of saying there is not only one way, but it’s “my way that God Himself has directly spoken to ME and it is my job to force it on everyone I see.”
A few years ago I remember attending a “Gay” Pride Festival in Simi Valley. I was there with my church handing out water to people entering the fair. Across the street were about 20 “Christians” with signs that read, “GOD HATES FAG” and “FAGS GO TO HELL” and so on and so forth. I watched the many faces of those that were trying to attend the fair turn from joy to anger and fear. And those “Christians” were yelling hateful things to the fairgoers. It made my stomach turn that these humans (most Christians would try to place them in the catagory of “gays”) were turned away from the love, life and forgiveness of Christ by the pride of a handful of his supposed “Followers.”
Today, 10 years later, I am starting to see the same type of pride in many of so called emergents. Rather than help the Traditional Church that is struggling, we trash their ways and uplift our new and better ways of community life. It makes me sick still to see that those that are “creating” the church of the future are not taking from the lessons of the past. Are we, as a people, going to continue the trend of pride that seperates those “not in the club” (the lost, traditional churches, other religions, other sexual preferences, your next door neighbor). Or are we going to stand before the Cross attempt to realize the humilty it took Christ to bear it, and follow suite.
wait
Dec 7th
This week at the Bridge we discussed the hidden stories of waiting. Greg talked about Zacharias struggle with what God was saying to him regarding his wife and a child. And how doubt is not so much, at time, not trusting God as it is being in touch with our own reality. It was a great reminder that there is much more to the Story of God in the lives of our spiritual ancestors as well as our own. I have always been fascinated with Elijah…one day calling down fire from heaven…the next running from a evil woman, scared for his life…the next in a cave questioning Gods existance (paraphrase mine). I have been feeling, for several years now, that God has set me on the sidelines. Now if you are used to this, being sidelined, then you have no issues. On the other hand, if your like me, you begin to feel lonely and worth-less than you were before. Because I equate worth with work=the more I “DO” the greater my value. In the forever sense this does not always pan out. I have been learning to “be”…now if your a doer by personality this is a constant struggle for you. I’d say only in the past few months have I started to accept and respond correctly to Gods urging in this area. Learning to rest, wait, meditate are things I am not good at…but learning I am.
God, teach me to rest and wait on you. Help me to “be” instead of “do” so that I can be of greater use to You.
brotha
Aug 26th
Let it be known. I have a twin brother. I never knew that I did. I don’t think my mother or father knows. In fact I didn’t know until about a 2 years ago. Actually less than that…we met about that long ago, we must have been seperated at birth (you know some secret government agency that has spies and does that kinda stuff). A few weeks ago I realized it and now I am very happy to present to you my brother Godverbs.
